An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation. It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity. It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.
no one is fated to love anyone
the accidents happen, we’re not heroines
they happen in our lives like car accidents
books that change us, neighbourhoods
we move into & come to love.
- adrienne rich
It’s what we looked for on long drives, it’s what we learned watching all those movies and shows and space documentaries. It’s what we saw in the mountains of a different country, it’s what we toast to with every single shot. It’s what we buried in the sand on an island we owned when the world paused. It’s what we sing at every show, it’s been the whisper in our arguments and the joy in our laughter. We found home but we will go and nothing will ever fill the spaces we leave in one another.
You frustrated me and you wore me out, but because the human heart is not properly connected to the human brain, I love you.